New things all around

I'm starting a new job next week. Which terrifies me. And excites me all at the same time. I've been trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life for about the past two years, and this is the point that I've come to. I'm going to be the director of Junior High ministries at a medium sized church in California. I'm excited. And terrified. Did I say that already? So much of what I think about myself, my skills, talents and so on tell me that I'm prepared for this. I've done internships, read books, and think I know what I'm doing. But, what if I get in there and totally bomb? See, it's these kinds of thoughts that drag me down lately. Fear. This is a word that we are all accustomed to in one form or another. But fear isn't intended for us. Fear is not what we (Christians) are supposed to be led to feel. Fear is derived from a lack of trust, and more specifically a lack of trust in the one who will never leave us. Looking on my life at times, I feel like I have the biggest safety net ever, with harnesses, helmets, pads, arms to catch me, love me, and support me, yet I am unable to jump. Is it our human mentality that causes us to fear, or something else? I'm not sure, but I know that I need to leap - to get over the things that scare me and just do it!

I have a lot of changes happening in my life these days. Moves from Denmark to the US, moves from Texas to Phoenix to California, serious relationships, changes in family dynamics, decisions about careers and choices about life. These things should all be impacting me in a serious way, yet I feel frozen. Maybe it is because I've been too afraid to leap out into something that I can't tangibly see or feel or touch. Maybe its because my mind hasn't caught up with my newly free-spirited heart? All I know is that it is about time I give myself a good kick in the butt and get out there. I will never know until I try....