One of the things I love most about my life here in Hong Kong is that I feel like I have a much more local experience than many of my expat friends. How so, you say? I'll tell you.
First and foremost, I live in a building where my roommates and I are the only white people. The only ones. So that makes us a) a spectacle and b) memorable. What this also does is forces me to use Mandarin on a daily basis with our doormen. This is good for a few reasons. They love us, mostly because we are willing to take the time and effort to actually talk with them in a mutually understood language (neither of them speak any English whatsoever), and also because I feel that we are probably the first white people to live here. I have even struck up elevator-smiling friendships with some of the grandmas that live on the floors below me.
One particular anecdote stands out. During Chinese New Year, the traditional greeting is Gung Hay Fat Choi. I learned this early on in the 15 day period of Chinese New Year, and started employing it in my conversations regularly. Towards the end of Chinese New Year, one of the elderly couples in my building held the elevator for me as I ran towards it and when I got in, I mumbled a quick mmmmgoiiii (Thank You). The couple smiled and laughed at what I presume was my horrible pronunciation. As they were getting off the elevator, I managed a Gung Hay Fat Choi to them and the strangest thing happened. The husband's face lit up and they began bowing and saying it back to me. Both of them were beaming. And I realized in that moment that this particular experience wouldn't have happened just anywhere. If they had spoken English, we might have just gone along in our day, but the (extremely small) effort I took made a huge difference to them.
This is why I moved to another country. Not to have a convenient experience, not to feel good about my efforts or to build my career. I moved to another country because I love learning about other cultures and other languages. And I have definitely received far more than I have been able to give.
The other blessing I've had while living in Hong Kong is that the majority of my friends, the people in my church and the kids in my youth group are Asian. I love this about my life here. Now, this might seem a little strange to you. You might be thinking, well, duh Whitney, you live in Asia. Of course you know a lot of Asians. But surprisingly, this is not the experience a lot of expats have. It would probably be extremely possible to only have white friends. Especially in corporate jobs. I know people who work in divisions entirely staffed by expats, or worse, entirely staffed by people from the US. So, it would be possible to go all day not interacting with Asian people. Compounding this is the fact that many expats who make decent money move to the "expat ghettos" in Mid-Levels or Pokfulam. I don't mean this to be derogatory - I just mean to say that many expats are attracted to these areas. And of course they are. They have more conveniences, grocery stores that carry more western products, nicer flats, and are convenient. If I had kids, I might just consider living in one of these areas. So, many people who live here and who don't care about interacting with locals, frankly, might never do it.
I'm glad I've gotten connected with my church and another young adult group where I am in the minority. I have so many Asian friends here, and I learn something new from every time I see them. No exaggeration.
I've learned about Asian family structure and the idea of revering ones' parents and elders. I've talked and debated with my friends about the value of taking care of your parents, and how this ideal is completely flipped from the values I grew up with. I've heard how many of my friends live with their parents all the way until they're married, and that this is considered model behavior from a good son or daughter. I've talked with my friends about the pressures that growing up in a traditional Asian family can bring and how for many of my friends there were only three job choices available to them growing up - Doctor, Lawyer or Banker, in that order. I've picked up random Cantonese and even got a lesson on how the gospel message can be portrayed through Chinese characters. And this just scratches the surface. But I can surely say that this is an experience that I never would have had if I didn't have Asian friends.
I've been reflecting a lot about my time in Denmark lately. I loved that time probably more than any other in my life. And for the longest time I couldn't figure out why. But I think I finally have the answer. I developed good, solid friendships with Danes there. I learned and lived the culture. I tried the language out. I learned to make Danish food and celebrate Danish holidays and it made my experience there extremely rich. And that is what Hong Kong is becoming for me. I love the new things I am experiencing. I love that I never know what to expect when I gather with my Asian friends. I love that I am constantly amazed by just how different yet similar we all are.
So, Asian friends, thanks for befriending this Gweilo. I love and appreciate you all more than I can say!
Til Next Time,
The Adventurer
No comments:
Post a Comment